LYRICS
作词 : Scholar M
作曲 : 萨其马
Yeah, people say life can be hard, but it’s all temporary,
“Oh babe it’s all gonna past live with it n u need no worry.”
There r times I felt like I have a problem but I don’t know what is it,
And man I wanna be helped n dragged out of this black whole but others r all looking at me like i might be crazy.
I do understand, that we all got down times,
But what if down times turns into lifetimes and I feel depressed all the time,
Maybe it ain’t for me, this type of human life, I’m thinking about suicide even though that’s a crime, it helps me, cuz I can’t even endure another lonely night.
Sometimes I just,
I’m jealous you know,
Of those people who can find joy,
In the real world.
Why it isn’t me, as crazy as it might seem,
Am the I the only one suffering,
“If I have a previous life, what was my sin?”
我的妈妈，她从小就教导我，
不要闯祸，去好好地生活，
但当我的depression和ocd kicks in，
I’ve lost my mind, 我无法控制，我的言行。
我最怕的不是责骂，而是失去，
我总觉得我原有的一切，会离我而去，
从金钱，名望，朋友到感情，
没有什么是永久，历史已经给了证明。
我或许是悲观的，
我总需要back up plan，
或许一个小小的trigger，
我就会去搭乘下一班plane。
心里医生都不理解，
为什么我总觉得生活那么坚难，
我最信任的人，在背地里议论我嫌我厌烦。
当你在大庭广众之下，给我难堪，
从hometown，DC，东京到长滩，
留在地上的印记，是血是泪不是汗。
Imma counting days，今晚，明晚，还有无数个晚，
Clubbing，drinking, imma getting laid,我是在躲避现实，不是贪玩。
If I got the chance,
To rest my settings,
Imma change everything,
Somebody totally differently,
Somebody ain’t me, definitely.