LYRICS
Princeton: Say, Kate, can I ask you a question?
Kate Monster: Sure!
Princeton: Well, you know Trekkie Monster upstairs?
Kate Monster :Uh huh.
Princeton: Well, he's Trekkie Monster, and you're Kate Monster .
Kate Monster :Right
Princeton: You're both Monsters.
Kate Monster: Yeah.
Princeton: Are you two related?
Kate Monster: What? Princeton, I'm surprised at you! I find that racist!
Princeton: Oh, well, I'm sorry! I was just asking!
Kate Monster: Well, it's a touchy subject. No ,not all Monsters are related.
What are you trying say, huh? That we all look the same to you? Huh, huh, huh?
Princeton: No, no, no, not at all. I'm sorry ,I guess that was a little racist.
Kate Monster:，I should say so. You should be much more，
careful when you're talking about the sensitive subject of race.
Princeton:，Well, look who's talking!
Kate Monster: What do you mean?
Princeton: What about that special Monster School you told me about?
Kate Monster: What about it?
Princeton:，Could someone like me go there?
Kate Monster: No, we don't want people like you-，
Princeton:，You see?!You're a little bit racist.
Kate Monster:，Well, you're a little bit too.
Princeton :I guess we're both a little bit racist.
Kate Monster: Admitting it is not an easy thing to do...
Princeton: But I guess it's true.
Kate Monster: Between me and you, I think
Both:，Everyone's a little bit racist，Sometimes. Doesn't mean we go，
Around committing hate crimes .Look around and you will find，
No one's really color blind. Maybe it's a fact，We all should face，
Everyone makes judgments，Based on race.
Princeton:，Now not big judgments, like who to hire，or who to buy a newspaper from.
Kate Monster: No!
Princeton: No, just little judgments like thinking that Mexican，
busboys should learn to speak goddamn English!
Kate Monster :Right!
Both: Everyone's a little bit racist， Today. So , everyone's a little bit racist，
Okay! Ethinic jokes might be uncouth, But you laugh because，
Everyone enjoys them -，So relax!
They're based on truth. Don't take them as，Personal attacks .
Princeton: All right, stop me if you've heard this one.
Kate Monster: Okay!
Princeton: There's a plan going down and there's only，one paracute.
And there's a rabbi, a priest...
Kate Monster: And a black guy!
Gary Coleman: Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate?
Kate Monster: Uh...
Gary Coleman: You were telling a black joke!
Princeton: Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes.
Princeton: Well. of course you don't - you're black!
Gary Coleman:I don't.
But I bet you tell Polack jokes, right?
Gary Coleman: Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polacks!
Princeton: Now, don't you think that's a little racist?
Gary Coleman: Well, damn, I guess you're right.
Kate Monster: You're a little bit racist.
Gary Coleman :Well, you're a little bit too.
Princeton: We're all a little bit racist.
Gary Coleman:I think that I would，Have to agree with you.
Princeton/Kate Monster:，We're glad you do.
Gary Coleman :It's sad but true! Everyone's a little bit racist -，All right!
Kate Monster:，All right!
Princeton: All right!
Gary Coleman: All right!Bigotry has never been，Exclusively white，
All: If we all could just admit，That we are racist a little bit,
Even though we all know，
That it's wrong, Maybe it would help us，Get along.
Princeton: Oh, Christ do I feel good
Gary Coleman: Now there was a fine upstanding black man!
Princeton: Who?
Gary Coleman :Jesus Christ.
Kate Monster: But, Gary, Jesus was white.
Gary Coleman No, Jesus was black.
Kate Monster: No, Jesus was white.
Gary Coleman :No, I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black
Princeton: Guys, guys...Jesus was Jewish!
Brian: Hey guys, what are you laughing about?
Gary Coleman: Racism!
Brian: Cool.
Christmas Eve: BRIAN! Come back here! You take out lecycuraburs!
Princeton :What's that mean?
Brian: Um, recyclables .Hey, don't laugh at her! How many languages do you speak?
Kate Monster: Oh, come off it, Brian! Everyone's a little bit racist.
Brian: I'm not!
Princeton: Oh no?
Brian: Nope! How many Oriental wives，Have you got?
Christmas Eve: What? Brian!
Princeton : Brian, buddy, where you been? The term is Asian-American!
Christmas Eve: I know you are no，Intending to be，But calling me Oriental -，
Offensive to me!
Brian: I'm sorry, honey, I love you.
Christmas Eve: And I love you.
Brian: But you're racist, too.
Christmas Eve:，Yes, I know. The Jews have all，The money，
And the whites have all，The power .And I'm always in taxi-cab，
With driver who no shower!
Princeton: Me too!
Kate Monster : Me too!
Gary Coleman: I can't even get a taxi!
All: Everyone's a little bit racist，It's true. But everyone is just about，
As racist as you! If we all could just admit，That we are racist a little bit,
And everyone stopped being，So PC，Maybe we could live in -，Harmony!
Christmas Eve: Everyone's a ritter bit lacist。