Logger

*sound of chainsaw*

Logger. The beer that brought the forests down.

I drive an exotic imported sports car.

I eat exotic foreign food like frankfurters and pizza.

But when it comes to numbing my mind, I'm a patriot.

I drink the beer that brought the forests down!

I'm a Logger man!

And, with the new 80-bottle trunk pack,

you've got enough for the evening!

Last night, I crapped in my bed,

and pissed in the closet!

Hey, it's happy hour somewhere!

Logger. Brings out the patriot in you.