Welcome To Moe's

Marge:Maybe some cheerier pink would make this place less of a dive.

Moe:Marge, my customers don't like themselves, therefore, they seek the darkness.

Marge:Well, as fabulous as your regulars are, a remodel might bring in a higher class of lush.

Moe:Look, I like Moe's the way it is, alright, and I ain't changin' it for any dames, skirts,

Suzy Qs, or facemacer.

Marge:I had a feeling you'd say that.

So I prepared something that might help you change your tune.

This place is a diamond,

But it's trapped in the rough.

Moe:Yeah, well the sign still says "Moe's,"

So enough of your guff.

Marge:Here's my new idea

To sell both beer and grub:

We will turn this filthy dive

Into a proper old-time British pub.

Moe:A British bar?

Bart and Lisa:Darts and meat pies,

And lager in pint glasses.

What a classy way

To get drunk off your asses!

Moe:Hey, hold the phone! An English pub! That just might work!

All:In song!

Moe:Oh, my bar could be British instead of arm-pittish

So why don't we all--

Ah, screw it, let's get renovating.