Hell’s Greatest Dad

Ha ha.

Looks like you could use some help

from the big boss of Hell himself

Check out Daddy's glowing reviews on yelp

'Five Stars'

'Flawless'

'Greater than great!'

Oh, with a punch of a pentagram

I wap bap boom alakazam

Usually, I charge a sacrificial lamb

But you get the family rate!

'Thanks dad!'

Who needs a busboy now that you've got the chef

'Woh oh oh!'

Michelin tasting menu free a la carte

I'll rig the game for you because I'm the ref

Champagne fountains,

caviar mountains,

that's just a start!

Alastor: Who's been here since day one?

Who's been faithful as a nun?

Makes you chuckle with an old timey pun

Your executive producer

Charlie: That's true!

Alastor: I'm your guy, your day-to-day

Your chum, your steadfast hotelier

Remember when I fixed that clog today?

Niffty: I was stuck, thank you, sir!

Charlie: Oh you!

Alastor: I'm truly honored that we've built such a bond

You're like the child that I wish that I had

Lucifer: Uh, what?

Alastor: I care for you just like a daughter I spawned

Lucifer: Hold on now!

Alastor: It's a little funny!

You could almost call me

dad

They say when you're looking for assistance

It's smart to pick the path of least resistance

Lucifer: Others say that in your needy hour

There's no substitute for pure angelic power

Who just happens to also be your blood

Alastor: Sadly there are times a birth parent is a dud

They say the family you choose is better

Lucifer: What a bunch of losers

Alastor: Can you butt out of my song?

Lucifer: Your song? I started this.

Alastor: I'm singing it, I'll finish it!

Mimzy: It's me!

Yes, it's me!

I know you were all waiting for me

I'm here

What a gas

Took a while but I'm present at last

It's me

It's me

Mimzzzzyyyyyyy

Lucifer: Who?