
I wanna
High five
I wanna
High five
I really want
A high five
And if you give me one
I'll put my hand down
But if you don't give me
A high five
Then I'll leave my hand up
And cause a
****in' scene
Cryin' grown man at your sister's birthday
Everybody askin' who brought that guy?
I'ma get weird and ruin your life
If you don't give me five and make it make it high
Down low, too slow
OH NO
I just offered your nephew blow
Stepped on shit talkin' mostly speed
And I'ma tell everyone you sold it to me
I really want a high five
And if you give me one, I'll put my hand down
I've met your family
I know your home address
You better slap a brother's metacarpus
Otherwise, I promise consequences
Heel toe, heel toe
Welcome to the friggin' pain rodeo
I hope you brought your fightin' chaps
'Cause I'm about to get you slapped
(aaa-eee-aaa-eee-aaa)
What's that sound?
Could it be me buyin' everyone a round of Fireball
But then drinkin' them all
And then tellin' your girlfriend that you're cheatin' on her with me
Someone pissed in all of your indoor houseplants
Oh, who could that be?
Somebody organized a ****fest with your parents
Oh, I'm a little bit naughty
Someone constructed an apiary in your bathroom
Thirteen thousand bees
Someone hacked your Twitter account
And now you're followin' Jeffrey Epstein
Does your employer know
That you starred in a TV show called
"Michael once admitted to me that he had sex on his boss' desk"
And yes, that show exists
But I guess that you just missed
That I constantly film you for an occasion just like this
An occasion just like this ruined
Because you're bein' a ****
You'll damage our friendship, you'll break up the band
If you don't slap my hand
I really want a high five
And if you give me one
I will stop ruinin' your life
I don't know how it started
But this is how it ends
If you just slap my hand
We go back to best friends