LYRICS
My father used to tell me I was nothing more than worthless
A stupid mother****er that would live without a purpose
Put my thoughts upon a page so I could try and prove him wrong
And every time I write a song I reminisce about the pain that I'm repressing in my brain so I don't ever feel alone
And I've been living with depression so I wonder how this shit really begins
I'm comfortable with the thoughts of vision and now it is
I've been working on this record for a minute
Still I feel like nothing that I do is good enough
My insecurities are creeping in so they would seep in to the music
Ain't it funny when other people see your pain as amusing?
Abusing many a pill and numbing the way I feel 'til the point of my reality's the furthest thing from real
The only thing I ever needed was a little piece of love and I couldn't find that in people so I would seek it in drugs
And I wanted to be the greatest instead I'm facing the truth
But the fact of the matter is that I'm losing it what's the use
And I know I'm sounding repetitive lack the lust for living
I pray that I be forgiven, I say let's take a picture
For sinners to get the sentiment a critical acclaim to explaining it wasn't evident
A premonition of my early death I'll make it prevalent malevolent confessing
And if I was down and out I can't sell my soul to be relevant
That rap shit got a pop
I'm ignoring all of my problems
I said I'd bury them deep
But I'm actually terrified and my paranoia was verified cause I just realized I don't wanna make it to twenty-five
A suicidal psychopath, a schizophrenic kinda guy that's looking for your empathy hoping that you'll remember me
The message I provided collided within the melody
A metamorphosism reliving giving debauchery
The resurrection of a savior coming out of Nazareth where you could catch a laceration and a crucifixion
Under what condition d'you make the decision moving like it's in a mild position living at the bottom wishing I was with it
Couldn't tell the difference
So tired of giving the false opinions
My faith in the book that was written by other people
They probably wrote with agendas
So every role was intended for anyone to follow
Attention, I got a testament
Just like the book of Mark
I'm sparking a revolution
My story a revelation
Amazing, I'd rather save it, debate it
Everything on my mind
While I was taking a mental picture
OK, so my train of thought is evasive
I'm faded within my memory
From a daily addiction of always staying sedated and claiming I wanna make it
I'm nothing more than a follower
No apologies for it
Gallivanting around like '**** I'm finally fre
Don't know what I believe and I'm seething and barely breathing
I was thinking of positivity
The possibility that I'll be sane is like a fallacy
I got a way to go and I'm showing you people gradually
I been imagining a better life and then I contradict it
The consequence of feeling like a loser with no confidence
And I've been all alone, I'm tryna find the source of inner peace
I suffocate the beat until the flow has been consumed
I strangulate that mother****er, turn the tune and turn the night maroon
And if I'm being honest, I think I'm losing my passion
I'm passing on opportunities
Giving in to distraction
The problem's that I've been having is all of it's a facade
It's quantity over quality
Profit over the product
But shit if it makes a dollar
Enforcing my ****ing happines
We'll get it radio play and then now make it a classic
Who gives a **** if it's garbage
And put him on a pedestal
He'll eventually catapult to perpetual force
The actual result distracting
They forgot that mother****er was never decent at rapping
They reminisce on the past and there ain't nobody original
And take a nigga with talent that's about as big as a grain of sal
But niggas stealing styles and never giving their credi
A hypothetical pondering
I put it on a paper for some people I'm being honest with
Abolishing a novice and murdering his accomplice
A complicated affair with the notorious hitter
These habitual liars supplying a lot of ignorance
It's all about an image, so everyone's irresponsible
And if you got a positive message then it's impossible to overcome the current plan and rap a better obstacle
It's illogical to think that
The future is looking brighter
When money comes into play than the vision will get distorted
Cause you were forced into feeling by acting out of your character
You lost your sense of pride that's inside
Don't let them embarrass ya
Barely making it now when you're coming up from the rubble
Refuse to be in the rut
Ain't no need for an introduction
Accepting that shit's patheti
It's different and impeccable
Intelligent and highly respectable
You're susceptible to this lyrical giant
A tyrant acting defiant
I'd rather do this alone
My shit is really disgustin
To practice my dedication by defecating the delicate
Relegated with delegates to give them rigamortis
Supported within a deficit
Celebrated a reverence
Televising my decadence
From years of destitution
The resolution's irrelevant
It's gotten to the point where I can see that nothing's real at all
It's leaving me appalled and
I'm embarrassed I will get involved to mental regression for I have yet to evolve
Got to find a spot to put my aggression before I'm gone
But the pain that I feel has lasted so long
So by the end of this song I'm praying for my desire cause I'm refusing to fake it
I'd rather reform than retire so my generation remedial
So mother**** an alliance aligning with preservatio
I really can't believe this shit is happenin
And you gotta be kidding me
The only thing I was meant to be is the dopest mother****er that people will probably never see
And if I never make it then I'm fulfilling the prophecy
Everything that I write has been centered around my honesty