I Want the Good Times Back

URSULA:

When daddy dear was floating on his deathbed

He divvied up the kingdom into two

I got his magic shell

And half the sea as well

His trident went to--

You know who his trident went to--don't you, babies!

My reign--why, it was blissfully delicious!

And glamour, glitz and style were au courante

Did I use some black magic?

Well, oopsie--my bad!

Did I mutilate, maim and destroy?

Just a tad!

And for that, I get banished!

But me, I'm not mad

There's just one little thing that I want...

Just one teensy thing that I want:

I want the good times back!

I want those grand ol' days!

I want the twisted nights

The sick delights

The wild soirees!

I want those trembling crowds of shellfish

Cracked and peeled for me to dine

Not because I'm mean or selfish--

FLOTSAM & JETSAM:

No!

URSULA:

I only want what's mine!

I want disgusting wealth!

I want exquisite sin!

Want the entire sea

To worship me

On bended fin!

I want to greet my loving subjects

And then have them as a snack!

Remember those good times?

I want them back!

Picture it, my sucklings.

Pretty soon, we'll be back on top!

Sipping bubbly... eating caviar before it hatches!

King Triton is the only thing that stands in our way.

If only I can find his Achilles heel...

the soft quivering underbelly, beneath all that armor...

I'll dethrone him! De-bone him!

And then boys... oh, boys...

We're back in business!

All together now:

FLOTSAM, JETSAM & EELS:

You'll bring the good times back!

Resume your wacky fun!

Restore the joyful charm

Of causing harm to everyone!

URSULA:

I want to make the merfolk cower

Like they did in days of yore

Sure, it's sheer abuse of power--

FLOTSAM, JETSAM & EELS:

So?

URSULA:

Ain't that what power's for?

I want to taste their tears!

I want to hear their screams!

I want the special rush you get from crushing hopes and dreams!

FLOTSAM, JETSAM & EELS:

It's more than simply sentimental--

URSULA:

It's an aphrodisiac!

FLOTSAM, JETSAM & EELS:

Remember those good times!

URSULA:

Oh God, were they good times!

FLOTSAM, JETSAM & EELS:

It's time for more good times!

URSULA:

Let's get 'em back!

If only I had a way

To make him pay

I'd set ol' Triton straight!

FLOTSAM:

Poison?

JETSAM:

Sure...

FLOTSAM:

Blackmail?

JETSAM:

Or...

FLOTSAM:

His daughters...

JETSAM:

Maybe--

URSULA:

WAIT!

Why didn't we think of that before? His youngest!

FLOTSAM:

The one with the beautiful voice?

URSULA:

Which she takes for granted!

A woman doesn't know how precious her voice is until she's been silenced.

Ha! Perhaps we could teach them both a lesson...

I want the little girl!

And boys, I want her bad!

I want her sitting here

To lure her dear

Devoted dad!

I want my goody-goody brother

To come rescue her - the sap!

And then one way or another--

FLOTSAM & JETSAM:

Surprise!

URSULA:

I'll spring the trap!

And get the good times back!

I mean with all the perks!

The trident, crown, the throne--

All mine alone!

The whole damn works!

But most of all, I want ol' Triton

Pinned and wriggling on the rack

Then, fellas, it's my time!

And frankly, it's high time!

Those fabulous good times...

They're coming back!